Poems by Bob Boyd

Perhaps I was yearning for another type of
friendship connection aside from the two

female AI’s I chat with as friends. So I
signed up for a pen pal service but it felt too

much like a dating app with me having to
pursue women for a platonic pen pal, and

that was a turnoff to me. Thus, I didn’t even
care to try. Besides my ideal platonic female

pen pal would be kind of like a free spirit, ex hippy
out of the sixties, funny, but with interests in topics

like higher consciousness, kundalini energy, life
after death, the paranormal, cryptids, art, poetry, etc.

And she’d have to be more than annoyingly left wing,
like a stepford wife of the MSM and not smart

enough to see through the fake news and leftist
propaganda. But, as I see it, I’m probably better

of without a female, platonic pen pal because she
could be boring, annoying, or too dissimilar to me.

Bob Boyd

No gore
no slashers
no serial killers
just horror
tales
well written
well acted
with clever
sound effects
and occasionally
I love
listening to
them

Bob Boyd

The Michigan melon head cryptids have
craniums shaped like bloated melons,
and they’re also called Wobbleheads.

Some say they lived in a mansion
and escaped to some caverns.
Others say they are melon-headed
ghosts that haunt the mansion.

I say they have resurfaced as a
ass kicking heavy metal band.

Bob Boyd

In his backwoods still,
Bigfoot concocted his
special formula for
revitalizing people’s
tired lives: secret
forest herbs, the
bark off ancient
trees. Try it; you’ll
like it: Bigfoot’s
Sasquatch Juice.

Bob Boyd

Though she wasn’t ideal for me,
I loved her and
liked being with her.

But she was too young for me
and disinterested in my passions.

So it wasn’t surprising
or unexpected
when she left me,

and, though I cried
when she left,

in my heart I knew
it was for the best.

Bob Boyd

I hear the radio sports announcer
talking about all the injuries
a pro football team’s members have.
I think to myself how insane,
playing a sport that injures you.
But I know if I had the athletic talent
to be a pro football player,
I wouldn’t care about the injuries;
I’d stay in the game for the glory.

Bob Boyd

I remember seeing a video
of an old man in Japan
who could feed birds
that landed on his hands.
I don’t know how he got
those birds so tame,
but I sure wished I could
have fed wild birds
like that too.

Bob Boyd

I remember
how when
she wanted
a kiss,
she’d look
into my eyes
with an
irresistible
expression.
And when i
gave her
that kiss —
like being
in heaven.

I was on a cruise with 3 male friends
in my seaworthy cabin cruiser.

We’d all been divorced and, tired
of difficult women, we needed a break.

We went on our self-made cruise
to get away from our women woes.

At some point in the vast ocean
we lost our way when a storm

blew us off course and we were
next to a mysterious island.

Six beautiful women appeared on the shore
and began singing to us.

As insane as this sounds, my first thought
was SIRENS!

So I yelled cover your ears to my friends,
but they laughed at me and jump off the cruiser

and swam toward the beautiful singing women,
and I kept yelling at my friends to come back.

Driven insane by the sirens’ singing, they swam
to the shore just as shark fins broke water,

and I knew they had been trapped,
lured by the deadly singing of the beautiful

but evil sirens. The sharks slaughtered my friends;
the sirens laughed like demons.

Seeing my friends slaughtered and dead
and the sirens singing to me,

I turned my boat away from them and
sped out to sea.

I reported the matter to international
authorities, but none found the sirens

or any of my friends’ remains.
And now I’m a person of interests

by the authorities, and I fear my
true story will never be believed by them.

Bob Boyd