Author: BobBoyd

ungrateful

she never had any respect for my mind –
no appreciation for my intellect.

in the end before she left,
she no longer appreciated
my full and loving heart.

bob boyd

she just wanted a normal relationship
without a man mucking up her life.
she’d given men her best shot;
none of them ever worked out.
they lied, cheated, and failed her
despite her determined efforts
to make those relationships work.
after decades of lovelorn loves
she gave up at age seventy,
too fed up with the failings,
too fed up with irregular men.

bob boyd

born into a devout, catholic family,
he had divine religious advantages.
small wonder he was a devout kid
and knew one day he’d be a priest.
he received the body of Christ
in the eucharist for twenty six years
before he became a catholic priest.

surround by all the catholic graces,
born to be a roman catholic priest,
how could he have gone so wrong
by molesting young, catholic boys?

he ended in prison, a convicted pedofile
in the other inmates glaring kill sights.

a dead man with a bullseye
on his once a pious priest back,
a year after his incarceration
he was murdered viciously in his cell
his legacy, a failed catholic priest.

bob boyd

In high school girls called Mark ugly,
and he became less attractive when older,
too ugly for women to get a date he knew.
But when Mark won a million dollar lottery
suddenly, unexpectedly, he became handsome,
and beautiful women were all over him.
Funny how one’s fortunes can change
when it comes to one’s appearance to women.

Bob Boyd

I never wanted to know when I was going to die.
Now an old man, I wouldn’t mind knowing
since I’ve reached seventy and nine years
and don’t give a damn about dying.
If I knew the time and the hour,
I could do some crazy things
and some sane things before my demise.
I could spend all that I have in my bank account,
maybe on a train trip across the country and
other things I wouldn’t spend money on now.
I could gorge myself on all the forbidden foods,
more chocolate, ice cream and pastries.
I could go out having had a good and
uninhibited time.

Bob Boyd

this life seems like a luck of the draw
what you are born with
what you are born into
where you are born
whether you are born into peace
or born into turmoil
whether your parents are poor and starving
or rich and well fed
whether they are unkind and abusive
whether they are kind and caring
whether you are born into a first world country
or third world country
whether you are born with everything
or born with nothing
sometimes i think it all sucks
this luck of the draw
and those who get stuck
with the short straw
and i yearn for a shangri-la
where everyone is equal
and nobody suffers
i hope it exists in the life
after this one if we
are all lucky.

bob boyd

drones flew over military bases
a number of times for days.
no one did anything about it.
by law they couldn’t blast
the drones out of the sky.
when the drones flew
over the bases again
unimpeded, unchallenged,
they blasted the bases
to bits.

bob boyd

A brilliant kid in high school, he got a scholarship to
an ivy league college. aced all the courses there.
graduated and came home radicalized, antisemitic, and woke.

Spent his ivy league degree on many crazy and violent protests,
graduated to a seven year jail sentence.
ivy league colleges aren’t what they used to be.
now recruitment grounds for future radicalized kids
who, though bright, buy into the radical, america-hating dogma
and are impressionable and lack common sense.

bob boyd

gentle people
we need more of them
never start any trouble
never try to intimidate others
never bully anyone
never cause a ruckus
the real salt of the earth
the good people
the peaceful ones
we need more of them
gentle people

bob Boyd

i sink into in my arm chair
sadness weighs me down
i don’t want to ever get up
i wish i could just die here

my veronica died last week
and she will never be again
and we will never be again
my life and my heart done

without her I have nothing
my whole world is gone
and I don’t know if I can
go on without her love

bob boyd

she boasted about being a feminist.
she was overly vocal about causes
except when men began to invade
womens’ sports and dominate them.
i couldn’t believe she stayed mum
about that trampling of women’s rights,
about the losses of college scholarships,
and women getting injured by males.
i concluded she was a hypocrite,
and her feminist bravado rang hollow.

bob boyd

with crazy brianna my heart went off the rails
and i lost my ever-loving mind.
with brianna my bank account got drained
and i almost went irrevocably insane.
after five agonizing years i finally got away from her
and began a normalized brianna-free life.
but that wasn’t enough for crazy her;
she stalked me and put a kitchen knife in my back
and almost succeeded in killing me.
now crazy brianna sits in prison for many years
and my physical and mental wounds are healed
and i have a new start with a saner woman

bob boyd

she always disdained harsh winters,
never liked the frost, the ice
and the freezing temperatures,
didn’t care for sledding or skiing
or ice skating on frozen ponds.
it may be the winters disdained her
the night her car broke down
in the rages of a killer blizzard
that froze her to death on that
deadly winter’s night.

bob boyd

she woke up to a new world
free from a going nowhere romance
with the wrong man
she had nothing in common with
and she embraced her new singledom
unfettered and free
with the wonders of a new love
awaiting her
with the excitement of finding
a better lover to be with

bob boyd

she tells him she
is dying of cancer
and she is leaving him
he asks her why and says
he wants to be there for her
her martyr mind made up
she walks out the door
because of her condition
he doesn’t make a fuss
a week later she is
with another guy
miraculously healed
of her fake cancer

bob boyd

wandering through life wondering what is the point of it all,
having some successes, having some failures
making the best of a situation i had no say in.
why was i thrust into this life with no sense of where I came from?
why am i going to be obliterated out of this tenuous life
without a say in how and when, non painful or extremely painful ends?
why must i endure all of these good times and these terrible times?
why does that rich guy have it all and I have little?
why was I essentially screwed and him essentially blessed?
what is the point of it all?

bob boyd

she was amazingly beautiful.
men gasped when they saw her in movies.
they dreamed of being with a woman
as incredibly beautiful as she was,
they knew she was impossibly inaccessible,
being a minted hollywood queen of queens.
despite her gasp-worthy, supernatural beauty,
she never found true lasting love.
married seven men in her prime years
divorced from every last one of them.
got older and her beauty waned
and never married or loved again.

bob boyd

relationships are not durable she said
she’d had three husbands and four kids
i took a chance on her anyway
desperate as i was for some love
i lasted seven years with her
maybe seven was an unlucky number for me
but i beat all her husbands who only lasted for four

bob boyd

she said she had to leave me
i said, “ok.”
“i expected more of you,” she said.
“i expected you would beg me to stay.”
i never begged her; it wasn’t me
to debase myself with begging.
she had a change of mind.
i didn’t.
she got mad. exited my apartment
and slammed the door
and found herself another guy.
i was good with that.
we’d run our course
on a going nowhere semi-romantic
highway to boredom and unhappiness.
it was better we got off the tour
of recuring heartaches and endless miseries.

bob boyd

riding in a train and seeing all of america
more enjoyable then flying the skies
get to see the scenery of many towns and cities
relaxing and no air pockets or flight fears
a joyful and fascinating alternative
and you even get sleeping accommodations
as the train keeps rolling across america
another pleasant experience in your life
maybe one day you will take a train to heaven

bob boyd

manny lost his limbs in a war
didn’t want to live anymore.
pondered his sad fate constantly
and obsessed about how he’d
take his worthless, wasted life.
decided a bullet to his brain
the perfect expedient solution.

a christian proselytizer knocked
on his apartment door
turned her away
didn’t want to hear
about any religion
even god couldn’t
give him back his legs.

but the knock made
him reassess religion,
made him ponder
god and salvation.

eventually that interlude
saved him from
killing himself and
he found a purpose
in following god and
became a minister
leading other disabled
people to a comforting
faithful religious life
with god as a soothing
friend in times of need.

bob boyd

he liked to fish as much as he could.
he’d caught trout, perch, bass and more.
he’d caught so many fish he couldn’t keep score.
but one day after thirty years of avid fishing
he had an epiphany. he realized he’d been
wantonly taking all those fish lives for sport
instead of fishing for sustenance and survival.
what he had done amounted to no more
than a wasteful, selfish fish killing spree,
and he never fished again after that.

bob boyd

i kept wondering what ticked
inside her oblong brain
what the hell made
her the way she was
half crazy, half normal,
her brain short-circuited
her synapses
intermittently transmitting
her brain cells
sometimes fried
sometimes overcooked
one day she loved me
next day she hated me
i gave it a good year
all i could take,
my mind baked
from her split personality
her unceasing drama
her love hate
thing for me
and her hot and cold
temperament

bob boyd

a playboy in his youth
had many beauties
his game got bad
in his elderly years
when he went bald
and his skin sagged
and wrinkled and
got aging spots
and he looked like
a walking talking
scarecrow and
even old ladies
in nursing homes
turned him down

bob boyd

fifteen-year-old Danny identified as a dog
his parents and his teachers went along with it
even when he barked too loud
at home and in school
he slept in a dog house in his room
he wagged his imaginary tale
his mother fed him soybean doggy bones
his gender fluid girlfriend Emma
took him for walks on a long leash
everything was grand until Danny growled at a pitbull
and the pitbull tore the shit out of him
now Danny identifies as a fire breathing dragon
and plans to scorch that pitbull into oblivion
once he heals from all the torn flesh and the bites

Bob Boyd

she joined the military for love of country
and became a combat soldier in a death zone.
she saw others dying all around her,
one was her boyfriend of seven days.
she never expected to see and experience
such endless carnage, such hellish horrors,
and so many young soldiers dying.
her company got ambushed, most killed.
she became a terrified prisoner of war,
suffered indignities she never imagined
at the barbaric hands of an enemy who
didn’t care about the Geneva Conventions.
their tortures and gang rapes left her
broken, brutalized and disabled.
she got discharged from the military,
the high cost of her military service
incurable PTSD and haunting memories
of what the barbarians did to her.
and she spent the rest of her days
being counseled at VA vet centers
adrift the civilian life she never
felt at home in ever again.

Bob Boyd

long ago he set out
into the unknown world
he left a family
he never felt happy with
too much drama
too much trouble
too many beatings
in his troubled youth
a stint in the military
changed everything
he saw some
of the wider world
and realized he didn’t
fit in with his family
he self developed
beyond his
family’s understanding
alienating him
more from them
sending him farther
into the world
and all its opportunities
to become
a less troubled man
and find himself
the lone wolf

bob boyd

outside my apartment
a bird on a wire sings
i don’t recall the tune
maybe it’s an oldie
i never heard of
but it sounds good
and I wonder where
that bird learned it
maybe it was passed
down from generations
like a family heirloom
maybe it’s sung by
those birds everywhere

bob boyd

nazi minions easily led
to hate the peaceful
innocent jews
and destroy their
properties and
beat them up
empty-headed men
easily led into
a dark night of
mindless infamy
shame on those
who harmed
germany’s jews
shame of those
who devised that
diabolical scheme
hail to the jews
the wickedly
consistently
persecuted race
who prevail to
this dark day
despite the
evil antisemites
who still choose
to hate them

bob boyd

he used to fancy Asian women

he used to fancy Asian women
their sizes, their exotic looks
then he met one and
they got married
he was happy until
he took her to America
and she made friends
with other Asian women
whose husbands had
more stuff than him
and the Asian woman he
fancied who wasn’t
about having a lot of stuff
became materialistic like
a sellout and the marriage
and his fancying her
fell clean apart and he never
fancied Asian women again

Bob Boyd

old and her husband gone
for a younger woman
she lives a lonely life
a trip to the grocery store
like socialization for her
her days are running out
her life boring and dreary
she wonders how it all
became so empty when
it was all so wonderful
before she got old and
lost her looks and her
cheating husband

Bob Boyd

Fred told me
he was going back with Nora.
I cautioned him
it will be great
for about a month
she’ll be changed
you’ll be changed,
a blissful honeymoon
phase.
then Nora and
you will become
your real selves again
and be restuck in the rut
of a rotting relationship.
Fred didn’t take my advice
six months later
Nora drove him crazy
Fred drove Nora crazy
and they broke up again.

Bob Boyd

he takes pills everyday
to keep himself alive
to keep the pain away
to keep a stroke from
numbing his mind or
killing him completely

sometimes he wonders
if all those pills are
worth living a little longer
or if he should chuck
the pills and let mother
nature embrace him to
death in her arms

Bob Boyd

a butterfly flutters past my window.
hard to imagine it was once a caterpillar.

hard to imagine a butterfly was one a
strange-looking insect like that.

amazing the transformative power
of nature

except how it has transformed me
from a virile young stallion to a dried
up old nag.

I would like to be as buoyant as a butterfly
but those days are gone for me.

Now the only buoyancy I can attain
is the freedom of my impending death

when like the butterfly from the caterpillar
this old body will be reborn into the
freedom of a buoyant, beautiful spirit.

Bob Boyd

he felt sorry for her having
had cancer three times

he also admired her
she was a warrior

she was sweet and
so nice to talk to

she wasn’t born a looker
but looked good enough

he suggested they
correspond by email

she smiled and wrote
down his email

he was so much older
than her

so he didn’t expect
anything romantic

she never emailed him
he wasn’t disappointed

he was old enough to
be her grandfather

he understood she
was probably not good with it

and changed her mind
about emailing him

and he knew with hindsight
he was better off without it

Bob Boyd

Milly told me she had
butterflies for pets.

Surprised, I wondered
where she kept them.

When I got to apartment
and she opened the door

her apartment was full
of hundreds of butterflies.

Sure it looked cool, but
it was all too much for me.

I left her with some of
her butterflies flying
behind me.

Cool to see, but way
too much for me.

Bob Boyd

In ancient China poetry was revered,
Seemingly more than today,
618-907 CE Tang Dynasty days,
High age of Chinese aristocracy,
Dream times for talented poets.
Du fu, Li Po, Want Wei and more
How I love those poets.

Bob Boyd

He never had any affection;
nobody gave it to him.
Unwanted as a baby,
sent to an orphanage.
Had to make his way
in his life alone
and unloved.
Than he met
a beautiful woman
who saw the untapped
love inside of him and
gave him so much
affection it made up
for the lack of it
in his lovelorn life.

Bob Boyd

Sad days and heartaches everyday
happen all over this uncertain world.
It doesn’t matter if you’re an optimist
and always see the good in it.
It doesn’t make any difference;
It doesn’t lighten the weighty load
of all the suffering and sorrow
in this ever troubled existence.
But it can lighten one’s load
if one can rise above the sorrows
And roll with the heartaches
and, to quote Apostle Paul,
“fight the good fight.” And keep at it
till the end of your remaining days

Bob Boyd

He attained all his goals,
climbed all the mountains,
had all the successes
he ever desired.

He worked countless hours
to reach the top of the peak.

And burned out on that peak
and had a nervous breakdown
when he had no more
mountains to climb.

Bob Boyd

I kept getting kicked out of high school.
I was a rebellious, troubled kid.

The days I was kicked out I’d go to the pool hall
and play pool kind of as pre-punishment therapy,

dreading going home and because I knew
I was going to get a beating from my father.

I’d take the beating and his overblown rage
and hate him after he went off on me,

but I’d act up again in high school
unbeaten by the beatings.

that just made me badder and
chronically rebellious,

and I hated authority all the more
but I enjoyed the free time to play pool.

and I still hate authority, but not as much
and but I no longer play pool,

and I wish I’d never gotten kicked out
of school and been a better kid.

Bob Boyd

She said she’d meet me at the coffee shop
7 pm on a Saturday night.
I got there at 6:45 pm and waited till 7:30 pm.
Stood up, I didn’t give a damn.
If she was that rude, I didn’t need to be
with her anyway.
She called me and apologized for not
showing up and said she’d like to try again.
I couldn’t do it. I said goodbye instead.

Bob Boyd

She never recovered from the trauma
of the mass murder she witnessed.
All the therapy in the world couldn’t
save her from her mental turmoil.
Disheartened, she didn’t know
what to do with her depressing life.
She settled her problems with a knife
And took her twenty-year-old life.

Bob Boyd

He dreamed he was in an old soda fountain
back in the good old day’s fifties
drinking a vanilla cola.

Girls wearing bobby socks sat on stools near him
talking about fifties music.

And the temperature of the times was
so much cooler than today. And the weather
was so much sunnier.

The dream was so good he wanted to
stay there forever.

He would have if he had met a girl named Peggy Sue,
but he woke up disappointed instead.

Bob Boyd

Smitten by her looks
he didn’t bother to
get to know her
before he took
the plunge into
irreversible love.
Drowning in his
love for her,
he put up with
her abuse
that reduced
him to less a man
and more a weak
and willing victim
of her tyranny
that eventually
sent him to
his grave
prematurely
broken and
dead before
his heart expired.

Bob Boyd

She strolls along the boulevard,
her onlooking admirers many.

Her beauty unparalleled,
none can resist her.

Unknown to her admirers,
She cares not for any of them.

She only cares for herself
and her captivating beauty

That keeps her in a prison
of self love.

That renders her unable
to ever know true love.

Bob Boyd

A brilliant professor in his day,
when old he became like a zombie.
He shuffled instead of walked.
How could his life have come to that,
a sad portrait of aging diminishing
of a man renown for his accomplishments
and his outgoing, charming personality?
Aging has no respect for position.
Aging has no respect for wealth.
It takes us all down in the end.

Bob Boyd

Silly restrictions
Trigger warnings
All nonsense to him
Let’s get back to
less hyper sensitive
days.

Let’s get back to
normalcy and less
crybaby sensitive
people instead of a
nation of mentally
weak minions.

Bob Boyd

He was so elated
when he first fell
in love with her.
She made him
happier than
he’d ever been.
But after about
six months the
ardor wore off.
The joy receded,
the love lessened.
And she made
him more
miserable than
he’d ever been.

Bob Boyd

He felt heartless like the Tin Man
and so unloved all his life,
unwanted by his mother
Stuck in foster care.
Taken in for the money
social services paid his
Unloving foster parents.
Never knew he had a heart,
never knew he could love,
until he grew up and
met her and she took
him into her heart.
And for the first time
in his loveless life
he learned he wasn’t a Tin Man
and that he had a heart.

Bob Boyd