the most beautiful actress ever

she was amazingly beautiful.
men gasped when they saw her in movies.
they dreamed of being with a woman
as incredibly beautiful as she was,
they knew she was impossibly inaccessible,
being a minted hollywood queen of queens.
despite her gasp-worthy, supernatural beauty,
she never found true lasting love.
married seven men in her prime years
divorced from every last one of them.
got older and her beauty waned
and never married or loved again.

bob boyd

the tour

she said she had to leave me
i said, “ok.”
“i expected more of you,” she said.
“i expected you would beg me to stay.”
i never begged her; it wasn’t me
to debase myself with begging.
she had a change of mind.
i didn’t.
she got mad. exited my apartment
and slammed the door
and found herself another guy.
i was good with that.
we’d run our course
on a going nowhere semi-romantic
highway to boredom and unhappiness.
it was better we got off the tour
of recuring heartaches and endless miseries.

bob boyd

train travel versus plane travel

riding in a train and seeing all of america
more enjoyable then flying the skies
get to see the scenery of many towns and cities
relaxing and no air pockets or flight fears
a joyful and fascinating alternative
and you even get sleeping accommodations
as the train keeps rolling across america
another pleasant experience in your life
maybe one day you will take a train to heaven

bob boyd

when manny lost his legs

manny lost his limbs in a war
didn’t want to live anymore.
pondered his sad fate constantly
and obsessed about how he’d
take his worthless, wasted life.
decided a bullet to his brain
the perfect expedient solution.

a christian proselytizer knocked
on his apartment door
turned her away
didn’t want to hear
about any religion
even god couldn’t
give him back his legs.

but the knock made
him reassess religion,
made him ponder
god and salvation.

eventually that interlude
saved him from
killing himself and
he found a purpose
in following god and
became a minister
leading other disabled
people to a comforting
faithful religious life
with god as a soothing
friend in times of need.

bob boyd

fish killing epiphany

he liked to fish as much as he could.
he’d caught trout, perch, bass and more.
he’d caught so many fish he couldn’t keep score.
but one day after thirty years of avid fishing
he had an epiphany. he realized he’d been
wantonly taking all those fish lives for sport
instead of fishing for sustenance and survival.
what he had done amounted to no more
than a wasteful, selfish fish killing spree,
and he never fished again after that.

bob boyd

hot and cold temperament

i kept wondering what ticked
inside her oblong brain
what the hell made
her the way she was
half crazy, half normal,
her brain short-circuited
her synapses
intermittently transmitting
her brain cells
sometimes fried
sometimes overcooked
one day she loved me
next day she hated me
i gave it a good year
all i could take,
my mind baked
from her split personality
her unceasing drama
her love hate
thing for me
and her hot and cold
temperament

bob boyd

danny the dog

fifteen-year-old Danny identified as a dog
his parents and his teachers went along with it
even when he barked too loud
at home and in school
he slept in a dog house in his room
he wagged his imaginary tale
his mother fed him soybean doggy bones
his gender fluid girlfriend Emma
took him for walks on a long leash
everything was grand until Danny growled at a pitbull
and the pitbull tore the shit out of him
now Danny identifies as a fire breathing dragon
and plans to scorch that pitbull into oblivion
once he heals from all the torn flesh and the bites

Bob Boyd

her sacrifice for her country

she joined the military for love of country
and became a combat soldier in a death zone.
she saw others dying all around her,
one was her boyfriend of seven days.
she never expected to see and experience
such endless carnage, such hellish horrors,
and so many young soldiers dying.
her company got ambushed, most killed.
she became a terrified prisoner of war,
suffered indignities she never imagined
at the barbaric hands of an enemy who
didn’t care about the Geneva Conventions.
their tortures and gang rapes left her
broken, brutalized and disabled.
she got discharged from the military,
the high cost of her military service
incurable PTSD and haunting memories
of what the barbarians did to her.
and she spent the rest of her days
being counseled at VA vet centers
adrift the civilian life she never
felt at home in ever again.

Bob Boyd

lone wolf

long ago he set out
into the unknown world
he left a family
he never felt happy with
too much drama
too much trouble
too many beatings
in his troubled youth
a stint in the military
changed everything
he saw some
of the wider world
and realized he didn’t
fit in with his family
he self developed
beyond his
family’s understanding
alienating him
more from them
sending him farther
into the world
and all its opportunities
to become
a less troubled man
and find himself
the lone wolf

bob boyd

bird on the wire

outside my apartment
a bird on a wire sings
i don’t recall the tune
maybe it’s an oldie
i never heard of
but it sounds good
and I wonder where
that bird learned it
maybe it was passed
down from generations
like a family heirloom
maybe it’s sung by
those birds everywhere

bob boyd

fools of kristallnacht

nazi minions easily led
to hate the peaceful
innocent jews
and destroy their
properties and
beat them up
empty-headed men
easily led into
a dark night of
mindless infamy
shame on those
who harmed
germany’s jews
shame of those
who devised that
diabolical scheme
hail to the jews
the wickedly
consistently
persecuted race
who prevail to
this dark day
despite the
evil antisemites
who still choose
to hate them

bob boyd

he used to fancy Asian women

he used to fancy Asian women

he used to fancy Asian women
their sizes, their exotic looks
then he met one and
they got married
he was happy until
he took her to America
and she made friends
with other Asian women
whose husbands had
more stuff than him
and the Asian woman he
fancied who wasn’t
about having a lot of stuff
became materialistic like
a sellout and the marriage
and his fancying her
fell clean apart and he never
fancied Asian women again

Bob Boyd

Aging Into Desolation

old and her husband gone
for a younger woman
she lives a lonely life
a trip to the grocery store
like socialization for her
her days are running out
her life boring and dreary
she wonders how it all
became so empty when
it was all so wonderful
before she got old and
lost her looks and her
cheating husband

Bob Boyd

Second Chances

Fred told me
he was going back with Nora.
I cautioned him
it will be great
for about a month
she’ll be changed
you’ll be changed,
a blissful honeymoon
phase.
then Nora and
you will become
your real selves again
and be restuck in the rut
of a rotting relationship.
Fred didn’t take my advice
six months later
Nora drove him crazy
Fred drove Nora crazy
and they broke up again.

Bob Boyd

buoyant butterfly

a butterfly flutters past my window.
hard to imagine it was once a caterpillar.

hard to imagine a butterfly was one a
strange-looking insect like that.

amazing the transformative power
of nature

except how it has transformed me
from a virile young stallion to a dried
up old nag.

I would like to be as buoyant as a butterfly
but those days are gone for me.

Now the only buoyancy I can attain
is the freedom of my impending death

when like the butterfly from the caterpillar
this old body will be reborn into the
freedom of a buoyant, beautiful spirit.

Bob Boyd

Better Off

he felt sorry for her having
had cancer three times

he also admired her
she was a warrior

she was sweet and
so nice to talk to

she wasn’t born a looker
but looked good enough

he suggested they
correspond by email

she smiled and wrote
down his email

he was so much older
than her

so he didn’t expect
anything romantic

she never emailed him
he wasn’t disappointed

he was old enough to
be her grandfather

he understood she
was probably not good with it

and changed her mind
about emailing him

and he knew with hindsight
he was better off without it

Bob Boyd

Milly’s Butterfly Pets

Milly told me she had
butterflies for pets.

Surprised, I wondered
where she kept them.

When I got to apartment
and she opened the door

her apartment was full
of hundreds of butterflies.

Sure it looked cool, but
it was all too much for me.

I left her with some of
her butterflies flying
behind me.

Cool to see, but way
too much for me.

Bob Boyd

Affection

He never had any affection;
nobody gave it to him.
Unwanted as a baby,
sent to an orphanage.
Had to make his way
in his life alone
and unloved.
Than he met
a beautiful woman
who saw the untapped
love inside of him and
gave him so much
affection it made up
for the lack of it
in his lovelorn life.

Bob Boyd

Sad Days and Heartaches

Sad days and heartaches everyday
happen all over this uncertain world.
It doesn’t matter if you’re an optimist
and always see the good in it.
It doesn’t make any difference;
It doesn’t lighten the weighty load
of all the suffering and sorrow
in this ever troubled existence.
But it can lighten one’s load
if one can rise above the sorrows
And roll with the heartaches
and, to quote Apostle Paul,
“fight the good fight.” And keep at it
till the end of your remaining days

Bob Boyd

Reinforced Rebel

I kept getting kicked out of high school.
I was a rebellious, troubled kid.

The days I was kicked out I’d go to the pool hall
and play pool kind of as pre-punishment therapy,

dreading going home and because I knew
I was going to get a beating from my father.

I’d take the beating and his overblown rage
and hate him after he went off on me,

but I’d act up again in high school
unbeaten by the beatings.

that just made me badder and
chronically rebellious,

and I hated authority all the more
but I enjoyed the free time to play pool.

and I still hate authority, but not as much
and but I no longer play pool,

and I wish I’d never gotten kicked out
of school and been a better kid.

Bob Boyd

Goodbye Instead

She said she’d meet me at the coffee shop
7 pm on a Saturday night.
I got there at 6:45 pm and waited till 7:30 pm.
Stood up, I didn’t give a damn.
If she was that rude, I didn’t need to be
with her anyway.
She called me and apologized for not
showing up and said she’d like to try again.
I couldn’t do it. I said goodbye instead.

Bob Boyd

Peggy Sue

He dreamed he was in an old soda fountain
back in the good old day’s fifties
drinking a vanilla cola.

Girls wearing bobby socks sat on stools near him
talking about fifties music.

And the temperature of the times was
so much cooler than today. And the weather
was so much sunnier.

The dream was so good he wanted to
stay there forever.

He would have if he had met a girl named Peggy Sue,
but he woke up disappointed instead.

Bob Boyd

Hazardous Love

Smitten by her looks
he didn’t bother to
get to know her
before he took
the plunge into
irreversible love.
Drowning in his
love for her,
he put up with
her abuse
that reduced
him to less a man
and more a weak
and willing victim
of her tyranny
that eventually
sent him to
his grave
prematurely
broken and
dead before
his heart expired.

Bob Boyd

Her Prison

She strolls along the boulevard,
her onlooking admirers many.

Her beauty unparalleled,
none can resist her.

Unknown to her admirers,
She cares not for any of them.

She only cares for herself
and her captivating beauty

That keeps her in a prison
of self love.

That renders her unable
to ever know true love.

Bob Boyd

Aging Cares Not

A brilliant professor in his day,
when old he became like a zombie.
He shuffled instead of walked.
How could his life have come to that,
a sad portrait of aging diminishing
of a man renown for his accomplishments
and his outgoing, charming personality?
Aging has no respect for position.
Aging has no respect for wealth.
It takes us all down in the end.

Bob Boyd

His Elation

He was so elated
when he first fell
in love with her.
She made him
happier than
he’d ever been.
But after about
six months the
ardor wore off.
The joy receded,
the love lessened.
And she made
him more
miserable than
he’d ever been.

Bob Boyd

Tin Man

He felt heartless like the Tin Man
and so unloved all his life,
unwanted by his mother
Stuck in foster care.
Taken in for the money
social services paid his
Unloving foster parents.
Never knew he had a heart,
never knew he could love,
until he grew up and
met her and she took
him into her heart.
And for the first time
in his loveless life
he learned he wasn’t a Tin Man
and that he had a heart.

Bob Boyd

Everybody’s Dying

Everybody I used to know is dying
Old friends, old actors, and singers
Never thought age would catch up
With my young sixties generation
When we were living large forever
Time snuck by without me seeing it
Suddenly my generation was old
Our expiration dates running out
Somehow I’ve survived so far
Even a cancer couldn’t kill me
Heart failure silently trying
To end my life any day now
But it’s not having much luck
Maybe Death wants to torture me
With a mind numbing dementia
Before it takes my waning life

Bob Boyd

Stormy Weather

It’s been like bad weather without you.
My days and nights are cold and overcast.
My emotions are reeling like a tsunami.
My heart is frozen in a frigid winter.
I need a little sunshine in my lonely life
To thaw out this heartbreak from
The stormy day you left me.
A new lady has got my attention
Maybe she’ll bring some
Sunny days back into my life.

Bob Boyd

Twenty-five and Cancer

Twenty-five and she’s diagnosed with cancer,
Just when she just found a new boyfriend.
How unkind of her fate to put that on her
Now the fear of death is in the back of her mind;
She tries to forget it, but she cannot.
It’s like its coming for her to take her out
Long before her precious time.
She worries she’ll lose her new boyfriend
To death or he’ll find a healthier woman.
But her prognosis is good and she’s doing better
In a year of treatments the cancer will be gone
And she’ll resume her life as a new wife.

Bob Boyd

Spinning Like a Top

The spinning sun warmed the
Awakening earth
The spinning moon cooled it down
The planets keep spinning
In the glorious heavens
The stars kept spinning
In the dark night skies
He marveled at it all
As his life kept spinning away
Like a spinning top
And he wondered when
It was all going to stop.

Bob Boyd

Unlasting Love

He used to envy his friend Mike
Who had a 40 year marriage
To his high school sweetheart
He’d only had failed marriages
With three women before
He gave up and decided to
Go it alone in life alone
without the comforts and
benefits of a loving woman.

But when Mike’s wife Cindy
Died and Mike fell apart
And became terminally
Heartbroken and sick
He realized love doesn’t last
And felt vindicated in staying
Solo and free of the painful
Illusion of lasting love.

Bob Boyd

The Preacher on the Radio

The preacher on the radio is shouting at him,
Says he’s going to hell if he doesn’t
Change his evil, sinning ways.
He’s not hearing it.
He likes the tasty forbidden fruit
Of sleeping with many lustful women,
And doesn’t want to give his fornications up.
From what the preacher says about heaven
He thinks he’d have more fun in hell.
Besides he likes hot weather and hot women
And devilish friends compared to
The goody goody meek Christian men
He shuts the preacher off the radio
Ironically tells him to go to hell
And gets back to so-called sinning
With a devilishly hot promiscuous woman.

Bob Boyd

He Never Thought Love Could Be So Lonely

It started out incredibly well,
One of those loves at first sight.
Perfect for each other,
They got engaged 3 months
After they met at a coffee house.
A year later they married,
So much in love,
In love forever
They said.

Two years and two kids later
She began spending more time
With friends from work than
With increasingly lonely him.
He had arguments with her
About her constant absence
For a while she’d stay home
And spend more time with him
But would return to her
Away from him ways.
And he’d think to himself,
I never thought love
Could be so lonely.

Bob Boyd

Paradise Found and Lost

He was aimlessly wandering through life
Feeling lonely and unloved without a woman.
He often dreamed of how it could be
With a woman by his side to love and support him.
Then Maryann, a beautiful high school teacher,
Came into his life like the morning light.
They fell in love and everything was so right.
They got married and had two sweet girls.
His life with her was like an eternal paradise
Until one day while at work he got the bad news
That Maryann had cheated on him with
One of her students and been arrested.
So upset by the news, he threw up,
Got outraged and filed for a divorce,
And his paradise became a living hell.

Bob Boyd

The Aspiring Actor

Full of unbounded energy
Bursting with eternal youth
Blessed with all the right stuff
Nothing can stop him
He’s a winner all the way
He can achieve anything
He’s the Lord of his universe
Working part time as a waiter
Until he achieves his dream
As the greatest actor ever
And he knows he will
He knows a Hollywood agent
Will clearly recognize his
Greatest of all acting talent
Discover him and sign him
For a million dollar contract
And he’ll own Hollywood
And grace the movies
Like no actor ever has

Bob Boyd

Imaginary Knight

Medieval music playing in the background
Of his unkempt one bedroom apartment.
The music taking him back in his imagination
To times of knights, ladies and dragons.
He imagines saving a princess from a dragon
In a poorly fortified, ancient castle.
Right before he vanquishes the dragon,
He wakes from the Medieval reverie
Knowing he’s just been like a
Don Quixote fighting windmills
In his overly imaginative mind.

Bob Boyd

Spontaneous Combustion

He started lucid dreaming.
To try to meet the woman of his dreams
In a lucid romantic dream.
After months of trying,
He finally met his dreamt up match,
Blonde and ethereally beautiful
Perfect in all ways for him.
He flirted with her in dreams
For three wonderful months.
He fell in love with her
And her with him.
But when they consummated,
She turned into a terrifying demon
And stole his mortal soul,
And burned his body to death.
When the police found his burned remains
They reported his death
As a case of spontaneous combustion.

Bob Boyd

He Hated Clowns

He hated clowns and didn’t trust them.
Hiding behind ridiculous costumes
And weirdly painted faces
They looked sinister
And untrustworthy to him.
He felt his belief was validated
When one turned out to be a serial killer
With the first name of a great American actor,
That was an injustice to that actor’s famous name.
John Wayne was the clown’s first name. Gacy his last.
A clown at children’s parties. A serial killer
Who killed at least 33 men and children.

Bob Boyd

Closer to Dying

Her days and nights pass faster
She grows older and older
Her body’s breaking down
The ravages of aging
She sees more doctors
Than ever in her life
And she’s tired of all of it

She misses the good health
And good times of her youth
But those days are gone forever
So she takes her ten medications
And deals with her inevitable
Death with a smile and a sigh
Turns out her bedroom lights
And escapes it all in sleep

Bob Boyd

The Power of Love

I’ve heard love is the most powerful force in the universe.
It doesn’t seem to be so in this troubled world.
Hate and evil seem so prevalent, and love doesn’t
Appear to have any power over hate and evil.
Wars rage on. Murders and rapes keep happening.
Which poses the questions, where’s the love in that,
And if love is so powerful
Why can’t it stop these heinous acts?
If love is the most powerful force in the universe,
I think it is in the greater unseen scheme of things.
But I just don’t see it in the relative world.

Bob Boyd

Unabashed Self

She was shy when sober, crazy when drunk,
Lost all her restrained inhibitions.
Took off all her clothes in a bar once.
Danced butt naked downing a beer.
Burly bouncers threw her ass out.
Showed her wares at a crowded beach.
Angry parents chased her off the beach.
Interrupted a church service once
Singing a song called Personal Jesus.
The parishioners drove her out
With the blood of Jesus prayers.
Slept with shitloads of faceless guys
On many drunken, regrettable nights.
Often woke up ashamed of herself.
Got drunk again to block out the shame.
And once again transformed herself,
Like a reanimated full-mooned she wolf,
And unleashed her unabashed self.

Bob Boyd

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