Little Jack Horner sat in a corner of a grocery store
eating a plum pie he ripped off from the bakery.
When he put in his thumb and pulled out a plum
and claimed he was a good boy,
Store Security caught the theft on a store security camera.
They hauled that bad boy, a 21-year-old repeat offender,
off to the pokey where he spent 30 days and then more
for stealing an inmate’s pumpkin pie.

When he was sprung from the pokey, he went back to
the grocery stores and stole six more pies
and had to appear before a judge in court.

Because the judge thought Jack Horner’s pie kleptomania was nuts,
instead of putting him back in the pokey, he sentenced him
to immediate counseling.

A year later Jack Honer was cured of pie stealing obsession.
And this might be only coincidental, but the grocery store
where Jack Honer stole all his pies from, now can’t
account for all the missing cookies.

Bob Boyd