My ex-friend, Sal, who was a fanatical fan of vampire movies, talked me into driving to Transylvania County, NC with him.
Given the vampiric reputation that Transylvania, Romania has, I had misgivings about going to its NC county namesake, just in case.
I know it sounds silly, but have you ever had a feeling that something bad could happen, kind of like a premonition?
That’s what I had, and I wish I had been mistaken.
To Sal, it was all just for a joke to tell his friends he’d
been to Transylvania, as if he’d been to the one in Romania.
But I know from dealing with dark energies, that it’s unwise to joke about dark things, and when you go looking for the paranormal, the paranormal might come looking for you.
It took three hours to get there from Greensboro, and the day had turned into night. And the moment we drove over the county line, I started feeling unsettling, eerie vibes that I told Sal about.
Sal thought I was just being a superstitious pussy, and I tried to convince myself that he was right, not wanting to spoil his fun.
Moments later, three vampires dropped out of the sky.
With vampiric power, they stopped the car and ripped the front doors off.
One of them seized Sal.
The others tried to grab me, but shrank away in horror.
The vampires flew off with Sal screaming, blood dripping from his neck, and despite months of searches, even with dogs, Sal was never seen again.
And I will be ever thankful that on that day that the vampires got Sal, I was wearing a Pope approved crucifix and had stuffed my pockets with the super potent Chesnok Red garlic, renown for its effectiveness as a vampiric repellent.
And if you ever come to NC, think twice about going to Transylvania County unless you take protective measures like I did.
You might want to bring a hammer and a wooden stake, just in case.
If you have type O-positive blood, you will be in greater danger.
Sal, bless his soul, had O-positive, and it attracts creatures of the night like bees to honey.
My name is Franklin Pierce Jr., future politician, and I approve of this true story.
