I never worried about getting cancer.
I was convinced I’d never get it.
No cancer in my family,
didn’t smoke, drink or do drugs,
rarely ate red meat, worked out
and walked daily for decades.
So when I was diagnosed with the
killer C, it was a surprise to me.
But, what was more surprising to me,
is when I got the dreadful news,
I was immediately resigned to it.
I didn’t become stressed out. It
was like this: often the fear of
something is worse than when
that something happens.
And even more surprisingly, I just
didn’t care, as if I’d somehow been
given a Zen attitude about it.
In some ways I actually enjoyed it.
Because I like gaining new knowledge,
I enjoyed seeing how all the tests and
procedures worked.
I enjoyed the various tests and even
the cancer infusions I took weekly.
Prior to the cancer, I hated hospitals,
and feared seeing doctors.
After the cancer, I loved hospitals
for the lives hospital workers save,
the people they heal, and those
they help get well or enable to live
with chronic illnesses.
And I lost my fear of seeing doctors
and came to appreciate them as well.
I really appreciated the nurses
in the cancer infusion room.
I had fun kidding with them and
they with me. I even wrote a poem
about them:
Earth Angels
By Bob Boyd
Dedicated earth angels helping the sick
Despite hard hours remaining angelic
Compassionately saving lives from dying
Never giving up on you, always trying
To heal your body with saintlike tenderness
Using precision, care, and benevolence
As surely as there is a number seven
There’s a special place for nurses in heaven.
And unanticipated by me, that first poem
I wrote led to me writing over 2,000 poems
to date.
And I plan to write thousands more,
despite not having had an interest in writing
poetry, and not having read much poetry
before the cancer.
Best of all, I gained enormous personal and spiritual
growth from the cancer, and I’m grateful I had it
and that I survived it.
Bob Boyd