Category: Poetry

Little Red Riding Hood strolled through the forest
on her way to her grandmother’s house
with a basket full of wine and cake for her grandmother.

When she arrived at her grandmother’s house
something was off. A psychopathic, crossdressing wolf
lay in her grandmother’s bed dressed as her grandmother.

Little Red Riding Hood blew a gasket knowing the wolf
slaughtered and ate her grandmother and had the gall
and the stupidity to pretend it was her grandmother.

She pulled her sawed off shotgun out of her robe
and blasted that goddamned wolf to pieces.

Bob Boyd

she put up with a lot of nonsense
with the man she once loved
he changed after they married
and gave up on courting her
she saw he didn’t value her
like he did before they wed
after years of his disinterest
she lost all her love for him
cheated on him with another
and he cheated on her too
their marriage crumbled
their nuptial bliss long gone
they started the gamble
all over again with
a new roll of the dice
her a new husband
him a new wife

bob boyd

She wasn’t a fake witch
or a woman tortured to
confess she was one.

She was a real witch
with a mastery of
the dark arts in 1606.

Her powers waned
when she got sick
and was captured
and hung to death.

After three days
she clawed
her way out of her grave
wearing the winding sheet
she was buried in.

Returning from the dead,
her powers became stronger.
She cursed all those responsible
for her death and
turned them into lepers.

She returned to her grave
after that
and died a proper death
never to stir again.

To some people
she became like
an avenging saint.
And to this day
many visit her grave
seeking miracles.

Bob Boyd

a life in the shadows
a master of deception
he fooled everyone
until he got too clever
and fooled himself
and got caught

his infamy recorded
his dark history
widely known

his last victim
a girl in Florida
12-year-old
Kimberly Leach

he got fried
in the electric chair
for 30+ murders
now he’s dead
hopefully in a
godforsaken hell

bob boyd

Everybody knew Mickey Murray
was born a big and bad bully.
He took pleasure in hurting other kids.
It was near suicidal to make eye contact with him.
He’d target you and beat you till you were black and blue.
People who knew him thought Mickey was going to prison someday.
At nineteen he got a life sentence after killing a man in a fight.
None of the people who knew him ever heard of Mickey after that.
It was as if he died in jail somewhere or vanished from life,
and nobody cared what happened to him.
They knew the world would be a better place without him.

When some of those who had known him made it to heaven,
they couldn’t believe Mickey Murray the bully was there.
Miraculously he found God in prison, changed completely,
and lived a holy life until he died in prison at age 78.
Sometimes some people change for the better.
Sometimes some people change for the worse.
The young prison minister that led Mickey to God
eventually went to jail himself for raping women
and became an atheist and remained one till he died.

Bob Boyd

Orphaned at 12
her father killed
her mother

Stuck in the
foster care system
never felt loved

Became a delinquent
sentenced to detention
got out her worse
than when she went in

At 18 in jail for being a thief
did a few years
and some self-reflection
came out reformed
built a better life
married and
raised great kids

Bob Boyd

Is true love for the few
but not for the many?

Some find it only for a while
and it doesn’t last.
Some find it many times
and it never lasts.
Doesn’t matter if you
are rich or poor,
famous or unknown.

Some never find it
and die never
knowing it.

Some fall in love
as teenagers and
it lasts all their lives.
In my view, these
are the few.

Bob Boyd

Haagen-dazs in Heaven, Not in Hell

Imagine if Haagen-Dazs was served in heaven.
I wonder if it would taste any more heavenly than it does on earth.
On the other hand, it tastes so divine here, I can’t see it tasting better anywhere.
However, it would probably be free in heaven and have more flavors.
I don’t think Haagen-Dazs would be served in hell, if ice cream could be frozen there.
I suspect the eternally damned denizens of hell would be devilishly tortured with tasteless store-brand ice cream – never to have Haagen-Dazs again.
That would be worse than being harassed by demons, scorched by hellfire, or burnt by brimstone.
None of that could compare with the torturous torment of being deprived of even so much as
a teaspoonful of Haagen-Dazs forever.
I think I’ll go to church this Sunday … just in case.

Bob Boyd

Imagine if Haagen-Dazs was served in heaven.
I wonder if it would taste any more heavenly than it does on earth.
On the other hand, it tastes so divine here, I can’t see it tasting better anywhere.
However, it would probably be free in heaven and have more flavors.
I don’t think Haagen-Dazs would be served in hell, if ice cream could be frozen there.
I suspect the eternally damned denizens of hell would be devilishly tortured with tasteless store-brand ice cream – never to have Haagen-Dazs again.
That would be worse than being harassed by demons, scorched by hellfire, or burnt by brimstone.
None of that could compare with the torturous torment of being deprived of even so much as
a teaspoonful of Haagen-Dazs forever.
I think I’ll go to church this Sunday … just in case.

Bob Boyd

Imagine if there were no life after life.
No heaven. no hell. no afterlife.
Your life just shut down like your computer.
All the near death experiences,
all the visions and dreams,
suggesting live continues
into the afterlife
were all illusionary.
And all that was you
erased forever.
I believe in what the NDEs tell us –
life goes on forever,
but if we all die into nothingness
I’ve reached a point in old age
where I’d be okay with that.
I no longer fear obliteration.
I can now accept it easily.
I used to worry about it in my youth
until I realized there’d be no me
to worry about if I died,
and the I that is me
died forever.
Now that I’m older
and my dying day is closer
I can accept the possibility
of dying into nothingness
even easier, and I’m okay with it.

Bob Boyd

for the first time since
he fell in love with her
he realized she was just what
was contained inside her gray matter
her face, her arms, her legs
and everything else
were not the real her

she was just that brain organ
lodged inside her beautiful head
the rest of her were only accessories
that her brain moved and directed
like an ingenious puppet master

and her personality,
thoughts, feelings
moods and quirks
were powered by it

and the day came when
although he loved her beautiful face
and her curvaceous body
he knew he could never
get along
with her gray matter

bob boyd

he was harmless but eccentric.
50 years old and lonely,
he’d never been with a woman.

he had a little girl’s dollhouse
he’d kept since childhood
when his sister abandoned it.

he dreamed of being
with pretty women
that he saw daily
on the city streets.

since all of them
ignored him
and he knew
none would ever
be with him,
he carved
little wooden dolls
that looked like them.

he kept the wooden dolls
in his little girl’s dollhouse
and dreamed that they
were real and loved him.

he talked to them
as if they were alive
gave them names
and put little doll
dresses on them.

he made up birthdays
for each doll
and bought tiny
christmas presents
for them all.

he talked sweetly
to the wooden dolls
and kissed each one
good night every night.

at age 55 he died
with 100 wooden dolls
in his dollhouse
and never knew
the love of
a real woman.

bob boyd

she was always attracted to white witchcraft
nature, herbs, and casting kindness spells
held a great appeal to her.

her family didn’t understand her.
fundamentalist christians, they thought
she was indulging in the works of the devil.

when her father was dying of cancer
and had only three months to live
she diagnosed him with her second sight
and cast a special kindness spell that healed him.

her family never knew she helped them,
and they never reconciled with her.

bob boyd

the rasbora fish hover in the aquarium
almost like suspended animation.
are they contemplating
the mysteries of the universe?
are they having a moment
of group self-reflection?
are they telepathically having
an important meeting?
or are they just chilling out in
the warm water?
i would like to know how it
feels to live and swim
underwater like they do
but i suspect
i’ll never have any gills.

bob boyd

jingle bells
snow falling
chestnuts roasting
sleigh rides
smell of pine trees
blinking tree lights
dangling ornaments
many presents
wrapped with care
hanging stockings
full of surprises
a child’s first christmas
filled with joy

bob boyd

he can’t remember
when he first
became aware
of the fact
he wasn’t
going
to get out
of this life
alive

he thinks
somewhere
in those
blissful
innocent
years
of childhood
he must have
thought he
was forever

curiously
he didn’t
feel disappointed
when somehow
at some point
in the time
of his childhood
the realization
that he would
die someday
occurred
or was
revealed
to him

he must have
not completely
believed
he would die
and maybe
some of that
illusionary
thinking
stuck with him
because it still
hasn’t fully
dawned on him
that he is
going to die

bob boyd

the life of the party
in his unbridled youth
always loads of friends
happy days and happy nights
good times and good friends

now an old man
he’s a stranger in his life

the friends
the good times
are all gone
the party’s over

his friends moved on
most of them died
even his wife of 70 years

he’s all alone
and just living
to die

bob boyd

The old man shivers
he’s in his apartment
it’s winter
the temperature is below zero
he can’t afford the high cost of heat
he wears layers of clothes
he drinks hot coffee

it’s not enough
he still shivers
he’s still freezing
he’s all alone
with no one to help

he knows he’s close to freezing to death
he doesn’t care about living anymore

his breathing becomes shallow
his pulse becomes weak

he tries to light one last cigarette
but he’s lost his coordination
his reflexes too
his muscles have become stiff
he can’t light the match

he closes his eyes
takes a faltering final breath
his heart stops beating
and he dies

Bob Boyd

We thought we were political pundits.
We knew our political choice was right.
We knew we were like celebrity gods
above the ill-informed masses.
And we knew the left was best
from watching CNN and MSNBC.
We were glad to do candidate endorsements,
especially for some lucrative gigs.
We hadn’t expected the low information voters
to be tone deaf to our informed political choice
and choose to vote the other way.
We cannot live in a country that
has gone Fourth Reich.
So we are leaving America
and packing our bags
with our broken hearts
and busted egos.

Bob Boyd

How sweet it is
when they “eat their own.”

You can’t get enough of it.
It is so deliciously satisfying.

And it seems so righteously
just and heartwarming.

It makes one think
there is still some justice
in this politicized world.

Bob Boyd