Sometimes I feel a little lonely and think
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have one last love in my life,
Maybe the one I’d waited a lifetime for, the ultimate real thing.
Then I think but at your age and at the old age she’d probably be,
One of you is going to die on the other. You don’t want that either way,
And it’s going to go the way of the world: Nothing lasts forever.
Imagine waking up and finding the woman who was the love of your life
Dead in bed beside you? Do you want to chance going through that,
The shock, the pain, the misery, the loss, the never ending grieving?
And you know you wouldn’t want anyone else after her.
And what if you died first leaving her all alone, one instead of two,
Heartbroken endlessly, maybe never getting over the loss of you.
But then I remember all the NDEs and Deathbed Visions and more
I’ve read and heard over the years, and doctors reporting theirs.
And I recall how in deathbed visions a dying spouse often sees
The deceased spouse in white light to guide the dying spouse into the afterlife,
As if true love triumphs, finds a way, the fairy tale forever and ever.
Then I think about all the amazing NDEs, roadmaps into the afterlife,
The unconditional love that no one wants to return to this life from.
NDEers saying the other side is more real, this life only dreamlike.
And I think to myself if she died before me, I could accept it,
Knowing she’d have gone on to the higher, better life.
And I’d believe when upon my death bed, she’d be there waiting for me.
But I’m a repressed romantic
and these are just silly things
I sometimes dream about.
Bob Boyd
