Poems With Pictures

I mean, those masks they wear ought to
make it obvious.

Why else would a raccoon be wearing
a mask unless it was up to no good?

For example, back in Dec 5 of 2025
one broke into a package store

and went on bender with the store’s
abundant supply of booze.

And, surprisingly, an honest female raccoon
ratted him out to the cops,

and they nabbed the raccoon robber
passed out in the package store

after getting drunk as skunk on all
the booze he drank.

The cops and the news played this off
as accidental and funny,

which the raccoon was counting on.
Do you know why?

Raccoon Privilege.

Bob Boyd

Here’s the proof, and to this day the deviant raccoon hasn’t been charged for the B&E. Unlike if you or I robbed that package store, he goes scot free. I rest my case.

It prowls national parks –
invisibly

few could imagine the
horror it is

none can see It or
hear It

when it snatches
a human
out of this world

it does it in
a millisecond

before the victim
can scream or even
make a sound

it’s kind of like the
extraterrestrial in
the movie Predator

this is just a fictional
speculation in a poem

but imagine if it
were true

and it would explain
the mysterious

disappearances of
the 411s

who vanish with no
earthly clues about how
they disappeared

no tracks and no
scents search dogs
can follow

Bob Boyd

See more about the 411s at David Paulides website: Missing 411.

I hear the werewolves howling outside the abandoned
hotel I’m hiding in.
I fear tonight they are going to end my human life
and make me a monster like them.
I hear the screams of other humans, and the
howls cease.
Dawn arrives. I’m still a human, survived another
terrifying night in the werewolf apocalypse.
Tired of hiding and starving, I resign myself to the worst
that can happen; I become one of them.
That night when I hear their howls again I emerge
from my hiding place and walk into their midst.
After the horrifying, bloody attack I become one of them.

Bob Boyd

If you like information and poems about the paranormal and cryptids, consider visiting my Bigfoot Blog that has fiction and nonfiction poems about Bigfoot.

Now some might think it silly that
a grown woman would cry when
a fish died.

And though I’ve had many tropical
fish as pets, I’ve never cried when one died.

The difference is she has a bigger
heart than mine, filled with compassion
for all living things.

I should have asked her to be my guru.

Bob Boyd

On the Dating App the price of admittance
for her deigning to even acknowledge a man
was an income exceeding 500k.

It didn’t matter that a man mindlessly interested
in her based on her body and her looks didn’t
make the cut at an impressive 400k.

After all, she had her mercenary principles.

Bob Boyd

To parish members
no doubt he was considered saintly
a good priest

but beneath his cover of being a priest
he was a rapist and a murderer

in 1969 he raped and murdered a 25-year-old woman
a devout member of the Catholic church

he escaped justice for over 50 years
until he left the priesthood

and was arrested for the crime in 2016
and sent to prison for life

and died behind bars
Sadly, Tragically This Horrible Murder Really Happened

Hippos are cute in cartoons
but not so in real life

they kill about 500 people per year
some think as high as 3,000

they’re not exactly dear
how is it cute becomes deadly

are they just perennilly pissed off
or natural born animal psychopaths

I don’t know what the answer is
I’m not an expert in hippo psychology

and thank God I’ll never have to meet one

Bob Boyd

Mac worked out like a man on fire
took steroids to get muscled up more

his neck got as big as other men’s legs
his biceps surpassed 18 inches

he got built big like a gorilla and
freakishly strong

in a bar one night a drunk fool who
thought he was a tough guy

provoked Mac into a brawl
mac got him in a headlock

and, a bit drunk himself, he
squeezed the fool’s head

so hard and for so long that
the fool died from the hold

now Mac rots in a prison
and he’s quietly going crazy

Bob Boyd

I often wonder where people really go in the afterlife
despite the claims by religions, which I don’t believe
are entirely true.

I don’t believe it’s a heaven or a hell. I wonder if
maybe there are different levels like rungs on a ladder.

A saintly life, you go to the top rung: Eternal Bliss Consciousness,
Unconditional Love, a heaven, or something like those.

A Hitler, you go to the bottom rung, but eventually progress up
the rungs to the top.

But maybe the Hindu sages have it right. You keep coming
back on the wheel of reincarnation until you evolve
spiritually enough to reach the eternal bliss consciousness.

I’d rather they were wrong. I don’t want to come back and risk
coming back on the cusp of a nuclear holocaust.

And I don’t think any of the religions have it right from what
they are believing is truth in their books.

But maybe some of the saints in the books have peered
into the afterlife and seen the truth.

Or maybe the different truths seen by saints from
each religion mean there are different afterlives
instead of only one.

Bob Boyd

To my surprise, allegedly haunted dolls
are sold on eBay. One is described as
malevolent, and you must be experienced
to buy it. I think to myself, who would
want a doll that could harm you or
bring misfortune into your life? And who
would have experience with an evil doll?
A Doll Whisperer, lol?

One gasp! belonged to someone’s evil
aunt. Could any good come of buying
the doll an evil aunt owned and
probably infused with her evil ways?
But one, in a refreshing twist from
all the evil, is An Active Spirit Good
Luck Charm Wish Granter. That’s
a doll I could use in my luckless life.

A white witch on an old Art Bell’s
Coast to Coast radio program
said some of those eBay dolls
were really haunted.

As for me, I don’t believe any of
them are. But would I buy one
to test my belief?

No freakin’ way, shudder, lol,
in case my belief is wrong.

Bob Boyd

To the delight of earthlings across the globe,
the aliens debuted as blue teddy bear aliens
when they arrived in a UFO on our planet.
No reptilians. No nordics. No greys. No ebans.
Just cute, little teddy bears about 3 feet tall.
At first they were treated like celebs.
People gushed over them and were relieved
they were cute and cuddly and not hideously evil
until millions of them arrived on the planet,
armed with weapons that were unstoppable,
invisible rays that destroyed thousands in a second,
and the invisible dome stretching across the world
that prevented bullets, bombs, rockets and drones
from penetrating it with no alien casualties.
It took only a year for the teddy bears to decimate
every human on earth and make earth their
teddy bear planet, not unlike how humans
conquered other lands and usurped them,
except without decimating all the natives.

Bob Boyd

Surrounded by graves, a haunted school with
various alleged ghosts.

Graves of hundreds of villagers who lost their lives
fighting the British in the Six-Days War of 1899.

A red lady ghost who allegedly hanged herself
to death is claimed to haunt the school

And in Chinese beliefs dying in red creates
a powerful and dangerous spirit

called ‘Crimson Ghost’ (Hung Yi Nguikui),
and pray you never see her if you go there.

Supposedly the lady in red has appeared
in the lady’s room where she hung herself to death.

Some say they have seen her in mirrors or
floating along the halls.

If you go there, and she is real, pray she’s not
a hitchhiker ghosts that follows you home.

And pray if you visit there, you don’t go crazy
and have to be hospitalized like some school girls did.

Better yet, forget about visiting Tak Tak School. Why
do that to yourself? Visit Tsz Shan Monastery instead.

Bob Boyd

He looks at the open closet
where her clothes still hang
the colorful dresses she wore
he sees her perfumes on her dresser
he inhales her sweet scents still there
he remembers their years together
and can’t believe she’s really gone
he recalls the shock of seeing her
lifeless and embalmed in her coffin
he nearly passed out that day
his heart never stops aching
he doesn’t know if he can go on
he wishes he were dead with her
prays to God to take him too
but he remains alive and alone
heartbroken in a sea of tears

Bob Boyd

In the town where he lived
so many people had died

on a back road the townspeople
called The Road of the Dead.

He never drove on that road. Almost
like a premonition, he felt death

awaited him there, and he was
far too young to die. But one

night when he was with his girlfriend,
and both had drank too many beers,

she talked him into driving on
The Road of the Dead, told him

he had to get over his silly superstition.
He agreed and bolstered by the beers,

he gunned his car down that road. But
a mile in his car swerved back and forth

controlled by a powerful, invisible power.
A moment later his car flew into a tree,

knocking him and his girlfriend out. He survied
the crash. She didn’t and became another
tragedy on The Road of the Dead.

He became a tragedy too. Unable to live
with feeling responsible for killing his

girlfriend, he took his father’s hunting
pistol, put it to his head, pulled the trigger,

shot his brain matter all over a wall,
fell to the floor dead.

Bob Boyd

After a three bad relationships with women,
to my astonishment, one day my friend David

introduced me to a life size rag doll he bought
on Etsy that he said was his girlfriend named Wanda.

At first, I thought he was joking. I really did.
But then I saw he was freakin’ serious.

I didn’t make fun of him or judge him, but
I truly thought he had gone a little crazy.

I thought in time he met a nice lady
whose love would heal his broken heart,

and he’d ditch that hideous rag doll Wanda
and become normal again.

That was ten years ago; he’s still with Wanda.
They’re still an item.

Kiddingly, I said to him after all these years,
when are you going to pop the question?

He said I already did and showed me an engagement
ring on a chain around Wanda’s neck.

I know this sounds crazy, but I agreed to be his
best man at his upcoming wedding.

And what the hell. If he can find love
and happiness in a rag doll, why not.

And, Dave, seeing that I’ve been
woman-less for some time , bought me

one of those Etsy rag dolls, Zelda,
but it didn’t work out. She wasn’t my type.

Bob Boyd

Once his heart sang a thousand love songs
for her,
and his love was infinite and eternal
for her.
But that was when he believed in the
fairy tales,
that was when he was her prince
and she was his princess,
that was when he thought his dream
could come true,
and they would live happily
ever after.
But the princess turned the dream
into a nightmare;
she abandoned the prince and the
fairy tale,
and the prince wept a thousand
tears,
and his heart never sang love songs
again.

Bob Boyd

I met him once while picking
up meds.
I liked his musical accent and
his cheerful personality.
I asked him where that accent
was from. “Nigeria,” he said.
“Cool,” I said, “It’s a great accent.”
I saw him tonight, months later,
in the CVS drive-through window.
Kidding around, I said, “Are you
from Nigeria?”
Surprised, not remembering me,
he said, “How did you know?”
“I’m psychic,” I said, smiling.
His eyes lit up, as if he believed me.
Then I said, “I’m just kidding.
I was here months ago, and you
told me you were from Nigeria.”
“Oh yeah, I remember now,”
he said, and we both had
a good laugh.

Bob Boyd

He talks to her every night
but she never answers
or even acknowledges him
his girlfriend of six years
of a deadly colon cancer
she died a year ago
but he cannot let go
he visits her grave
every single week
cries at her tombstone
his heart bleeding with grief
and he doesn’t understand
why she stays dead
and never answers him

Bob Boyd

She’s hooked on alcohol
can’t shake the addiction
she goes to church Sundays
tells God she’s giving up
getting drunk and drinking
back to the bars Monday
back to getting drunk again
Monday to Saturday

so far she’s repeated that
pattern for 30 plus days
church on Sunday
drunk Monday to Saturday

I’m not putting her down
horrible things happened
to Mary in her childhood
deep scars in her soul

because she keeps trying
I’m rooting for Mary
I believe she will become
free of her addiction and
have the happy life she
seeks and deserves
despite the unfortunate
beginning she had

and at least she keeps
trying, doesn’t give up.

Bob Boyd