Poems by Bob Boyd

My beloved dog Bo hated my new girlfriend Lillian.
Too enamored, too blown away by her beautiful looks,
I didn’t listen to Bo’s whines, barks and growls.
Lillian hated Bo. She knew he saw the real her.
One day Bo lay dead next to his food bowl,
most of his food uneaten in the bowl.
I knew what had happened to poor Bo.
I knew what I had to do about it.
Three days later, Lillian went missing.
Not even the police dogs could find her.
Only me, pig farmer Johnny Wales, and
his pigs know what happened to her.

Bob Boyd

Molly Molly Molly
Wake up to this glorious day
With your radiant blue eyes
Your sweet crimson lips
Your cascading brown hair

You fill my heart with ecstasy
With a single loving look
From those radiant blue eyes
And a sweet lingering kiss
From those crimson lips
And let me caress your
Cascading brown hair
Molly Molly Molly
None are so fair

Bob Boyd

When I drank my morning coffee my wife had made for me,
I got sick, drowsy, confused and suspicious of my wife.
We’d been having trouble in our seventeen years of marriage.
She winked, smiled, laughed gleefully, showed me a bottle.
I stumbled to her and grabbed the bottle which read thallium.
I fell on the kitchen floor on my back and knew I was dying.
My wife winked and smiled with my life insurance in hand,

And I died an agonizing death there on the kitchen floor.
My wife got criminally rich on my generous life insurance.
After I’d died, I hung around a while as a ghost appearing
In dreams to the investigators telling them my wife had
Poisoned me with the barely detectable poison, thallium.
They dug up my corpse and checked it closer for thallium,
And today my wife is rotting in prison with a life sentence.

Bob Boyd

Larry Sachs worked as a laborer,
A no nonsense hard working man.
He had a wife named Cecelia
And a six-year old son, little Larry.
One Sunday three robed Lamas
Knocked on Larry’s front door.
What the hell is this Larry said?
The Lamas said little Larry
Had been a high lama in a
Former life, and they wanted
To take him back to a lamasery
With them. No freakin’ way
Larry said and kicked them out
Of his house. Little larry, a lad
Of six cried and said he wanted
To go with the lamas. Larry told
Little larry to shut the hell up and
Forget about that crazy nonsense.
Big Larry had a dream that night
And saw little Larry dressed in a
Lama’s robe and setting himself
On fire in a former life as a lama
To protest a war in Viet Nam.
Larry woke up a believer and
Rushed into little Larry’s room
Just in time to take the matches
Away from him, and little Larry
Is now a lama in that lamasery.

Bob Boyd

When I got into Zen, I also bought a dog named Bo.
I’d sit in zazen facing a wall seeking enlightenment.
I did this for a month. Then Bo began sitting beside me.
At first I thought it was just Bo not knowing any better
And just sitting with me because he was my dog,
But he’d close his eyes and sit as meditatively as me.

Then one day after a zazen Bo had blissed out.
By that sageful look in his enlightened eyes,
I knew that Bo had become a master of Zen.
When I asked him the sound of one hand clapping
He barked like never before, and I had my first satori
And my dog Bo became my Canine Sensei Supreme.

Bob Boyd

Sunny days and holidays
Great for many people
As for me I’m looking
For those sunny days
In the ever bright afterlife
For my eternal holiday
From the troubles and strife
In this fleeting uncertain life
But a doctor said I could live
Another thirty years
Alas, he may be more
Right than wrong
About my swan song.

Bob

Lived without your love for nine years
You came back after cheating on me

as if the years had erased your offense
against me, once your faithful husband.

I learned you cheated on your paramour
too, not surprised, bad habits prevail.

Fool me once, never twice, won’t roll
the dice on bad bet broken trust.

I wish you well in your future romances.
Maybe there’s a lesson here for you.

Maybe someday you’ll become truer
Because of your mistakes with me and him.

As for me, I’m nine years better off
with never having to be with you again.

Bob Boyd

I lived in Edinburgh during the Black Plague
My occupation, a well off Plague Doctor
Trying to heal victims of the Black Plague
Mostly removed dead bodies from homes
And buried their rotting, stinking corpses
Took their precious belongings as well
Got rich on those and my high salary
My garb, a black cloak and a bird beak mask
A cane to examine patients, cauterize wounds
Strong Herbs in the mask, incense in the beak
Cloak greased with fat and wax kept fleas away
Bird mask didn’t save me, plague seeped in
Died a horrible death from the plague in 1690

Bob Boyd

Flowers bloom as she walks by them
The grass beneath her feet feels blessed
Tree leaves sing silent songs to her
Rocks tremble as she steps over them
The wind murmurs about her beauty
The clouds gaze at her in wonder
The sky brightens when she appears
The Sun beams at the sight of her
A more beautiful woman there never was

Bob Boyd

Amazing how the body runs itself
Eyes that see, hair that grows
Arms and legs that move
Mouth that talks effortlessly
Nose the sniffs and sneezes
Body temperature that heats
Heart and pulse that beat
Automatic digestive system
Corpse that disposes of itself

Bob Boyd