Day: October 24, 2024

he used to ward off vampires
with his trusty Christian cross

his never failing vampiric repellent
that vanquished those fiends

he’d flash it in their fanged faces
and poof they were done

but a new strain of vampires
were resistant to the cross

one grabbed it out of his hand
and broke it in two pieces

as if it were a flimsy toy
as if it had no more power

his only saving grace
was the stake
he pulled out of his belt
and stabbed the vampire
in the heart with
and prayed the stake
would never lose
its power

the vampire done
melted into the floor
and was no more
far as he knew

Bob Boyd

John Worthington lived in the 12 century.
He never believed the stories about vampires,
nonsense he always decried.

But in the stillness of a foreboding night,
he heard the scream of a damsel attacked.
With his sword drawn, he rushed to her aid
and saw a fang-toothed fiend about to
sink his fangs into her unwilling throat.

The grotesque creature turned and hissed,
bared its fangs and charged at him. Almost
unstrung by that horrifying, menacing sight,
he back up a bit before he regained his nerve
and cleaved the fiend’s head off with his sword.

He carved a stake from a nearby branch of a tree
and slammed it into the undead vampire’s heart.
And he never doubted the existence of vampires again.

Bob Boyd

fifteen-year-old Danny identified as a dog
his parents and his teachers went along with it
even when he barked too loud
at home and in school
he slept in a dog house in his room
he wagged his imaginary tale
his mother fed him soybean doggy bones
his gender fluid girlfriend Emma
took him for walks on a long leash
everything was grand until Danny growled at a pitbull
and the pitbull tore the shit out of him
now Danny identifies as a fire breathing dragon
and plans to scorch that pitbull into oblivion
once he heals from all the torn flesh and the bites

Bob Boyd

He always felt he was connected to the cosmos.
He wondered if he was close to becoming enlightened.
He pondered the mysteries of the universe day and night.
He died without attaining enlightenment.
He needed more incarnations
to climb higher on the evolutionary ladder.
But he’d been preternaturally advanced
for a single-celled amoeba.
Maybe he had buckets of bad karma
in a former life and had to
take a step backward
to atone for heinous behaviors
as that lower rung amoeba
with his human consciousness still intact.
But I’m just guessing.

Bob Boyd

Fred told me
he was going back with Nora.
I cautioned him
it will be great
for about a month
she’ll be changed
you’ll be changed,
a blissful honeymoon
phase.
then Nora and
you will become
your real selves again
and be restuck in the rut
of a rotting relationship.
Fred didn’t take my advice
six months later
Nora drove him crazy
Fred drove Nora crazy
and they broke up again.

Bob Boyd