Day: May 15, 2025

You feel blessed beyond belief to be sitting at a table
with this adorable woman across from you with the
light of her beautiful eyes shining on you.

Few things in this world can compare to that wondrous
moment.

Nothing in this world could compare to the heaven in
her heart melting stare.

And you feel the resistance, the fears of letting go
and falling irreversibly in love with her falling away.

And in that precious moment that feels like the most
important moment in your entire life, you follow
your heart’s persistent urgings, and you tremble and
look into her beautiful eyes and say… “I love you.”

Bob Boyd

In the 190,000 years humans have lived on this planet
it’s estimated about 117 billion of us have inhabited it.
And though I’m the most important person in my life,
and at this point the only one, those 117 billion others
make me feel inconsequential and probably of no more significance than the other species that have populated this planet. You might attach greater importance to humans like I once did, but in the greater scheme of things globally and planetarily, I have to wonder if we really are of any more importance than the insects beneath our feet that live, procreate and die like we do. You could compare the intellects and great achievements of humans compared to, say, single minded ants that lack comparable intellects or any great achievements. But time erases intellects, even towering ones, and most achievements. And with a single mass extinction of the human race all those intellects and achievements would come to no more than an ant building a mound.

Bob Boyd

I hear what sounds like a chorus
of birds singing outside my apartment window.
Do they chirp different languages like humans do?
Or do all birds comprehend all the different bird chirps?
I wish I understood the language of birds.
Imagine if suddenly you were able to.
What a revelation, what a feeling, that would be.

Bob Boyd

As I write this poem, the inner energy is amped up in me, rising well above my head, and I wonder if this is the day it’s finally going to fully awaken and expand my consciousness into the infinite.
Were I to relax into it, my head would bob up and down gently from the power and the force of it.
It is always rising upward and has been since age 27, but surprisingly it has never reached full fruition, i.e. cosmic consciousness.

In a way, it’s like I’m in a perpetual state of meditation, but without the unending states of bliss that I’d have with a higher development.
The only advantage it gave me, far as I can perceive, is losing the desire for drinking alcohol since it awakened; it eliminated what had been too much drinking in my life when it awakened dramatically with the white Light and the feeling of merging with the cosmos that frightened me.

And, I regret now that I pulled out of meditation before it happened. I should have went with it.

The disadvantages were that I had to drop out of college because all the concentration on my studies were like deeper and deeper meditations.
Had I persisted, I’ve no doubt it would have caused a mental breakdown.
I could no longer read all the time like I had prior to the awakening.
Eventually I could no longer meditate, and really didn’t need to.
Meditation caused too much energy to rise up in me and headaches and sleepless nights.

But, despite the downsides, it’s all been worth it, and I believe it saved my life. I had alcoholism on both sides of my family. Grandfathers who were drunks.
I believe that would have been my fate, had this energy not awakened dramatically in me and arose permanently.

The odd thing is I’ve always been like a regular guy with no hints or signs of this spiritual energy always rising in me. Even in the seventies when hippies abounded, I never put on any spiritual airs by dressing and appearing like what I am inside of me.

Now I’m kind of like an old mystic who just looks like an old man. But at least I have a little magic in my waning life.

Bob Boyd

I regret I watched a YouTube video of famous actresses who are no longer young and appealing.
It saddened me to see all the ones who have lost their looks.
In some cases they were completely unrecognizable.
Some genetically lucky ones age well and still look good in their seventies.
Some have lost their looks at far younger ages.
Some women look great in their seventies and probably even when they are older.
Or they have enough money to keep medically making themselves look great.
Whatever the case, I hate how time and aging steal their beauty.
It’s as if time and aging are cruel heartlessly tearing down a woman’s looks.
I suppose I shouldn’t care about this, but it really disturbs me.
It’s like a sacrilege against female youth and beauty to me, and I’m still bothered by it after having watched that video.
I must make it a point to not watch anything like that again.
It makes me wish I could leave this world sooner because of what it does to women, but since I’m willing to leave, I’ll probably be here a lot longer than I want to be.
My mother lived into her late nineties.
Because I feel like an anomaly for my age in many ways and people are always amazed when I tell them my age and say I look far younger, I regrettably might live as long as she did.
I also write regrettably because I’ve seen many times how living too long can destroy the quality of a person’s life, physically and sometimes mentally, as in a dementia — with rare exceptions.

I have read when people die they are reborn young in the afterlife.
I hope that is true for all the women who have been robbed of their looks by time and aging.

Bob Boyd