My Bickering Significant Other

After one of our many arguments, she
told me I could have done worse than
her, as if she, a woman who seemed to love
bickering, was a better bargain.

But she had a point. At least she hadn’t
tried to kill me with a kitchen knife, or
stole all my money. At least she hadn’t
ran off with some other guy.

So I stayed with her and put up with her
bickering until she decided she was a
lesbian and took up with a woman who
eventually left her when she decided
she wasn’t a lesbian and needed a man.

Fool that I was, maybe a masochist, I
took her back when she came begging
me to give her another try. And now she’s
back to bickering with me every day.
But for me, bad love is better than no love.

Bob Boyd

A Werewolf Named Leonard

The werewolf kept pounding on
my front door, reinforced with steel.
He kept howling annoyingly,
not knowing what he was dealing with.
When he wasn’t a werewolf, he
was a guy named Leonard,
whose wife I’d been with, but
only once until I found out she
was a werewolf too and married.
Being an oddity myself, I didn’t
mind the werewolf part. It was
the married, taken, part that
deterred me. Despite my failings,
I have my principles. But back to
werewolf Leonard. His howling
finally got on my last nerve, and
I morphed into my vicious alien
form and sliced and diced him
like I had done with cows I mutilated
in farmer’s fields all over the USA.

Bob Boyd