Day: November 9, 2025

Jack and Jill hiked up a hill
Only one came down.
411 or something more wicked?
Jack claimed Jill disappeared,
Turned around and she was gone.
Police suspicious, searched everywhere
But never found Jill.
Everybody believed Jack
Murdered Jill –
They were having trouble
In their relationship.
Miraculously, a week later
Jill came down from the mountain
Babbling about aliens abducting her.

Bob Boyd

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner of a grocery store
eating a plum pie he ripped off from the bakery.
When he put in his thumb and pulled out a plum
and claimed he was a good boy,
Store Security caught the theft on a store security camera.
They hauled that bad boy, a 21-year-old repeat offender,
off to the pokey where he spent 30 days and then more
for stealing an inmate’s pumpkin pie.

When he was sprung from the pokey, he went back to
the grocery stores and stole six more pies
and had to appear before a judge in court.

Because the judge thought Jack Horner’s pie kleptomania was nuts,
instead of putting him back in the pokey, he sentenced him
to immediate counseling.

A year later Jack Horner was cured of pie stealing obsession.
And this might be only coincidental, but the grocery store
where Jack Horner stole all his pies from, now can’t
account for all the missing cookies.

Bob Boyd

“Georgy Porgy, pudding pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.”

Georgy Porgy continued kissing girls
violating them with unwanted kisses
from childhood until an arrestable adult

became known as the neighborhood
masher, and all the girls avoided him
because of his non-consensual kisses

when he reached the legal age of 18
he non-consensually kissed a legal aide
she reported him to the police and Georgy
Porgy got arrested and fined 2,000 dollars

now Georgy Porgy sits in a coroner with
Jack Horner eating stolen Christmas pies
instead of stealing expensive kisses.

Bob Boyd

A standout athlete
a bodybuilder too
worked out like a
work horse

got built like one too
big and brawny
18 inch guns
curling 175 pounds

phenomenal physique
chemically enhanced
roids and whatever

a bloated big guy in
a bar probably drunk
called him a pussy

he knew he should
have ignored the guy
but he wanted to test
his enhanced muscle
power in a fight

knocked the guy out
with a single punch
got elated with the
easy win

now Charles Meeks
lies under a tombstone
in a grassy cemetery
knocked out a mafioso’s
son.

Bob Boyd

Michael met her in a dream
heartbreakingly beautiful
a body unimaginably perfect
telepathic I love yous
caresses he could feel
all over his etheric body
better than caresses
on his physical body
the perfect astral lover
his soulmate from beyond

he told his close friend James
about his new astral lover
James, lonely single man
envied Michael and wished
he had an astral lover too

a week later, Michael died
spontaneous combustion
the coroner said

now Michael’s ex is visiting
James in dreams, and James
thinks he’s lucked out
unknown to him he’ll be
scorched to dead too

his new perfect girlfriend
a demonic killer succubus.

Bob Boyd

Duncan goes to work
pounds holes in metal
on an assembly line
in a factory all day
never gets bored
best worker ever
replaced a human
named fast Eddy
who wasn’t fast
enough and cost
too much

now fast Eddy has
slowed down on
the unemployment
line

and his prospects
for another job
aren’t looking good
he’s flesh and bones
not the right type to
compete with the
robots at his old
job at the factory
or near anywhere
else these robot
dominated days.

Bob Boyd