Day: April 17, 2024

Invasion of the Palmetto Bugs

Posted on by Bob Boyd

I lived in Florida for about twelve years
I liked the little lizards that seemed to constantly do push ups
Maybe it was a male mating thing, showing off to a lady lizard
They reminded of the lizards on the backs of comic books
You could send away for when I was a kid in Massachusetts

The palmetto bugs were another matter, a scourge to me
Giant obnoxious cockroaches that invaded everything relentlessly
And don’t think you could leave a lovely display of fruit on a table Overnight
A palmetto bug’s delight, probably snack on it in the night to your Fright
In the morning light when you saw it scurry away and tried to kill It

And if you succeeded in killing one, no problem to the palmetto bugs
More awaited the chance to invade your dwelling and annoy the Hell out of you
And when they died invading your home, they probably thought they’d be
Rewarded with a hundred palmetto virgins in a palmetto bug Heaven

My worst encounter with one of these bastard bugs was when I saw one six feet up on a garage wall. When I went to attack him he flew off the wall nearly dive bombing into me. Shocked, I never knew they could fly
A sight almost reminiscent of a monster in a horror movie
Crawling out of the grave coming back to life

And if you’re a palmetto bug reading this, imagine me giving the finger to you
And if you think I should be beyond such a crude gesture at my age
I never claimed to have completely grown up

After all, I’m the guy who can walk off a job after over twenty years Of working there
Provoked by an outrageous, unpardonable slight by the director. And I’m proud of that

Bob Boyd

The Lamas

Posted on by Bob Boyd

The lamas were said to have preternatural powers,
Unattainable by most holy men and women.
Stories about their paranormal abilities, legendary.
Elite Tibetan priests, it seemed they could rule the skies
Or create impenetrable force fields to protect Tibet
By reciting powerful, sacred mantras and
Spinning massive prayer wheels continuously,
Releasing thousands of protective prayers.
Tragically, when the Chinese invaded Tibet
Their bullets were stronger than mantras
And spinning prayer wheels,
And the lamas had to flee.

Bob Boyd

Guru at Harvard U.

Posted on by Bob Boyd

Saw the poster, the Guru at Harvard U
Thursdays 7 PM come experience him
Open to the public in a reserved room
Got there at 7, didn’t see the Guru

A Devotee said, he’s in Europe
But his consciousness will be here at 7
Wondered if that were true or imaginary
Devotees so gullible, believe anything.

At 7PM a phenomenal, palpable spiritual energy
Lit up the room. Sitting in meditation, I got blitzed
Lasted for hours, higher than I’d ever been

Devotees said the Guru meditated on them
Every night. Spiritual energy pouring in
Sometimes awakening them from sleep
Bona fide powerhouse guru

Most gurus couldn’t do what he could
Years past and the troubles began
Women coming forth and reporting
How the guru sexually abused them

A common tale with most of the gurus
Who came to America triumphantly
Like kids set loose in a candy store
They couldn’t resist the exotic treats

Didn’t care for the Hare Krishna Guru’s
Path with shaved heads, the chanting, etc
But at least A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
The real deal who behaved like a true and saintly guru.

Bob Boyd

Oh How I loved Your Beautiful Red Hair

Posted on by Bob Boyd

I must have been sixteen
When I saw you at the dance.
With your red hair you looked beautiful.
I always loved the uniqueness of red hair, still do.

I asked you to dance, surprisingly you accepted.
Tongue tied, overcome by your beauty, I couldn’t talk.
You didn’t talk either. Maybe you felt the same way.

I remember when you and two other girls phoned me.
Not sure how you ladies got my phone number,
Didn’t care, a compliment to have three girls calling me.
I didn’t know you were one of them until you said you danced with me.
And kidding, I said, “You were lucky.” You cracked me up when you said, “No you were lucky!” and told me you were the red-headed girl.

In retrospect had I been wiser back then I would have said
You are right and told you how blown away I was by your red hair
And your beautiful looks, and how I was too shy to start a conversation.
How I hate possible missed opportunities like that,
All those if onlys. And God Almighty I had so many misses.

Bob Boyd

Amy, Lady Dudley (nee Robsart 7 June 1532 – 8 September 1560)

Posted on by Bob Boyd

Amy Robsart married Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester,
A loveless marriage, the earl wanted Queen Elizabeth I,
And Queen Elizabeth fell in love with him.

Amy heard a rumor she was going to be poisoned to death
To get her out of the way so the Earl could be with the queen.
Amy died from a suspicious fall down a flight of stairs;
Some believed she was pushed. Preachers proclaimed foul play.

A ghost began haunting Kenilworth Castle where Amy lived,
Thought to be Amy from dying a shocking death.
Supposedly she appeared before Robert Dudley
And told her husband, “Soon you’ll be joining me.”
Dudley died a few days later.

Oh Amy were you really a ghost
Or were the apparitions just
Low frequency sounds causing
Strange feelings and fake visions?

Whatever the cause, ghost or sounds,
tragic you died under suspicious
Circumstances and didn’t have a full life.

Bob Boyd